A little while ago I ask why the Chainmail Bikini Pirate is angry, and you answered in droves. Today, I reveal who wins the coveted prize – a copy of Molvday Edition red book D&D, straight off my bookshelf and on to yours!
But first, here are the runners up and honourable mentions. Kudos and credit goes to all of the entries which have kept me chortling (is that a word?) for many a day. Thanks to you all!
From Mad Brew comes:
“If one more short hair gets caught in this damned chainmail bikini, I’m going to cut someone’s face off like it’s a Wizards’ yanking PDFs! Where’s my special chainmail bikini oil?!’
Many of you quite rightly picked up on my own righteous rant against Wizards of the Coast. Alex wrote:
She’s angry because piracy is only flourishing in the gulf of Arden and she feels like robbing the silver train, or sail to Guantánamo and free some prisoners. She’s angry because being a pirate these days involves starting special programs on your computer and getting sued by big corporations instead of fighting with a cutlass between your teeth, a pistol in each hand, and gunsmoke obscuring your sight. She’s angry because she’s an anachronism, misunderstood, and romanticized. Nobody understands piracy like they used to. Those were the days. 1881!
Arrr, Blackbush the Pirate be angry because she was using dual scimitars before it was cool.
…. I could go on. Head over to the comments and read them yourself. I ain’t going to do it for you!
Third place goes to QuestingGM for entering so many damned times (all of them good!), and Second place to Caleb jensen:
“Not another $%#@%ing rust monster!”
The winner. Oh yes. I almost forgot. Dr Checkmate takes the prize with the wonderfully written prose over on his blog. Check it out.
I’m going to add a small wrinkle right at the end; the good Doctor expressed an interest in my Living Greyhawk Gazetter. If you want that instead as an alternate prize, let me know in the comments and mail me your address (send it to greywulf(at)gmail.com) – in which case, the copy of D&D goes to Caleb jensen. If Dr Checkmate is amenable, mail me your address too.
Oh, the choices we have to make in life.
No wonder the Chainmail Bikini Pirate was angry, eh?