2007Predictions:

Over on the local Chesterfield Forums we were asked for our prediction for 2007. Here’s mine, wherein I use the word “crap” a lot. Apologies in advance, I don’t know why it turned out that way:

Labour will impose new taxes because Britain is skint. No riots occur, because we’re all apathetic deadheads.

Doctor Who gets highest rating of a TV show, ever.

Catharine Tate gets told she’s just not funny. Cries.

Premium rate idiot quizzes will be at the end of every show. Including the news.

Richard Hammond returns as an android.

Chris Evans will take over from Noel Edmunds on Deal or No Deal. Because I think it would be funny, that’s why.

Jonathon Ross will announce he’s leaving his family to spend more time on TV.

Ant and Dec will have a gay wedding live on air. Elton John will sing during the ceremony. Guests will be voted out of the reception.

ITV will be bought by Sky because it’s skint and crap. All shows on ITV will get adverts every ten minutes and Corrie will have dramatic slow motion zoom-ins added to look like CSI.

George Bush will be shot (yay) but survive (boo). He’ll invade Iran in retaliation. The shooter will have links to the CIA and it’ll all turn out to be a cover-up just to get another war started. Again.

Major disaster occurs somewhere. People die. More on News at Ten.

Tesco announces it’s going to build entire towns. Tesco Finest homes are great, but the Teco Value homes get soggy in the rain and the cardboard roof collapses.

Rich people fly in their private jets then drive in their huge cars to meet at a massive hotel to talk about global warming. Irony not missed.

Wargames 2 released (It’s being filmed now. No, seriously).

Star Wars TV show released. It’s crap, but we’ll love it ten years later.

William Shatner dies. People start saying he’s a great actor. People do that when actors die.

Bay City Rollers reformed.

George Michael imprisoned for something. I won’t go into the details now, as this is a family forum.

Windows Vista released, kills computers everywhere with staggering bugs, security flaws and supercomputer system requirements. But people still buy it and talk about how pretty it is, and how much better it is that Windows XP. Because people are stupid that way.

Roll on 2008!

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