Never argue with an idiot. The people watching might not know the difference.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
When you’re laying in bed at night looking up at the stars, don’t panic when you suddenly wonder “Where the Hell is the ceiling?!”
Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and SMACK the asshole upside the head.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends – if they’re okay, then it’s you.
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